We have jobs!!!!!
Our eldest son to his credit started working early, like at 15 and though he lost most every job he ever got, he did always have a job. He worked at I Hop as a greeter. He bussed tables at another breakfast place in town. He helped run a house painting business for a couple of semesters in college. Now he is assisting in running a veterinary research project which he’s jazzed about. I never remember our son asking me personally to borrow or have money though I know my husband helped him out a bit from time to time. He always seemed to have what he needed. I have since learned about his personality that he squeaks when he walks. He is, let me just go on and say, a tightwad. Boy has the first dollar he ever earned!
Then come the girls behind him. Can I, can I have, can I get, I need, I want… Good lord. Such a difference. It’s been constant for the last three years I’d say. One of our daughters is pretty normal with her money. She saves a little spends a little and tries to get her parents to pay for her stuff so she can save her money for other stuff. Our other daughter, cheer girl, we believe is well on her way to a full blown shopping problem. Smile and the money shall come, she thinks. Unfortunately as she strived to connect with her Mother through the years, they do “retail therapy” , their Mother’s term not theirs or mine. Again worrisome. Time will tell.
So to her credit, cheer girl straight out of the gate in late spring this year blitzed this town applying here and there and everywhere. She landed a job at DQ. She was very proud and jumped right in there…learning the recipes, blowing up ice cream drinks all over the place as she learned to operate the equipment. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall…I’ll bet it was funny. When she brought home her first paycheck, she came to me and said “who is this FICA dude?, he took most of my money!”. I had to laugh. I explained to her what it was and her reply back to me was “Well that sucks”. Welcome to it kiddo! Her second check she questioned her hours on, so we taught her about keeping her own time records etc. She began working till close, coming home real late and picking up extra shifts. I think she’s about to take on a second seasonal job. I forewarned her not to over do and to be straight up with both employers about what she is doing and with the second employer that her primary responsibility is to DQ. You know for all her stumbles coming through her teen years, she does seem to have a good work ethic. If she can steer clear of co-worker drama, she’ll probably make a pretty good employee.
As is her way and following closely behind her sister, our other twin floods our town with applications. She got a couple of interviews…was getting discouraged and then viola she got a job. She’s a Jimmy John! She called me after she was hired and said well I guess I’ll be late to dinner tonight. I said oh? She said yeah…..paused….because I have to work! I asked if her Dad knew and she said he did, I asked if he told her he was proud of her and she said yes he did! Good deal. Now if this one can take instruction without constantly questioning why and accept constructive criticism without pouting…she’ll no doubt make a heck of a good employee. Two employed daughters.
They started talking about things I think their Mother told them about how their employer has to do this and can’t do that. None of it was accurate, but then again I do HR for a living. I pulled up the US department of labor website FAQs and told them to study up. It would help them protect themselves and put them leagues ahead of other kid’s their age. It would give them the facts. I felt this a better approach than me spouting off to them things I know and possibly undermining their Mother in the process. I also added that their jobs are their own and that unless there was an extreme emergency never should they involve their parents with their place of employment. Separation is important. I have had to respectfully and politely shut down a well meaning parent once or twice myself. And nothing turns an employer of a younger person off quicker than parental interference.e
I think it’s good for them to be working and I think this for a number of reasons. I know their Dad was a little less than enthused at their push to do so. He is understandably concerned about them focusing on school in this their senior year rather than work. Also too, again because he had to work, he just wants his kids not to feel that pressure. I think they need to experience what it’s like to expend effort and follow directives. I think they need to learn how to pull their weight as part of a team other than one that is sports related. I think they need to learn how to give and take and not just take. I know they need to understand the value of a dollar and how hard money is to earn. Along with that as they go out and spend money…their OWN money, that it’s a heck of a lot harder to earn than spend. I think they need to start appreciating how good they have it. I think they need reinforcement of the notion that you don’t always get what you want, when you want it, that sometimes you just do something because it needs to be done with no more reward than a feeling of personal satisfaction and that life takes effort and sacrifice; what you do and don’t do, what you say and don’t say carries consequences. I know that working will, if not now eventually, teach and/or reinforce these important life lessons for them and make them better and stronger people. And that it will give them a sense of accomplishment they haven’t been able to experience before. They even have to cooperate with each other better for the moment because they have 2 jobs ok 3 jobs and 1 car.
Lessons learned
As I have experienced before with our older kids and already do now with our youngest, each milestone is bittersweet for the parents. They grow and develop and change so fast. It’s great and it’s a little sad.
All the kids learned by seeking employment, then landing a job in a tough market in a tough town, that jobs are hard to come by. As they now talk to us on a different level and about different issues, I realize it’s all coming to fruition and I am reminded what a huge responsibility it is to raise children and help them find their way to becoming decent, good, productive and happy people.
The house sure is quiet when the girls aren’t home. Baby brother misses them. Maybe we do too a little. But it’s all good!
Christy
Goodstepmom
