SPOT 7 Ask Christy

Ask Christy

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15 Comments

  1. Posted January 29, 2014 at 5:18 pm | Permalink

    I just wanted to let you know I have been looking for info on being a stepmom. Your website is the best I have found so far. There is a lot of negativity ou there. You always put a positive spin, like lesson learned. Thank you for sharing. Looking forward to more. I am stepmom to two girls.

    • admin
      Posted May 14, 2014 at 12:07 am | Permalink

      Hi. Am so sorry I was having major difficulties replying. Thank you so much for your comments. You are so right. I joined a chat room or two and scared myself and jumped off. Horrible! How old are your girls?

    • admin
      Posted June 12, 2014 at 5:52 pm | Permalink

      Ok is this working now?

    • Posted February 12, 2015 at 2:01 am | Permalink

      HI Donna. Thanks for writing. You’re right. I went out to look as I thought about atarting my site, and it wwas just all so hateful. I thought you know….that’s not really helping anybody. So thanks for the nod, I appreciate that and I also thank you for readinG!

  2. Hope
    Posted February 13, 2014 at 12:26 am | Permalink

    I miss you, your wisdom, and your humor. I’m sure many others do as well. Have you moved the site? Be wishes and hopes that all is well. Hope

    • admin
      Posted May 14, 2014 at 12:09 am | Permalink

      Oh man I’ve had trouble responding to people I’m so sorry. Thank you for reading my blog. Haven’t moved…have written some new pieces and will be posting. My kids never fail to provide! Ha!!

  3. Conflicted
    Posted May 7, 2014 at 6:15 pm | Permalink

    My husband and 15 year old stepdaughter have been at each other’s throats lately. Nothing surprising at her age but still difficult to deal with. She lives with us full time, mother is not very involved in her life. I am as involved as I can be in her life but when it comes to disputes between her and her dad I try to let them hash it out themselves, support my husband’s position, and offer her support on the side. There are some things that I am aware of that she wont be honest with her dad about, which puts me in a very difficult position. I finally relayed some of that info to my husband, which has backfired and left me feeling like I shouldn’t have gotten involved. I really don’t know what to do to fix the situation. Husband feels hurt for step-daughter’s lack of honesty and all I wanted to do is relay her true feelings to him so that he would gain a better understanding of her position.

    • admin
      Posted May 14, 2014 at 12:05 am | Permalink

      Sorry been having technical difficulties!!! Boy I can honestly say I know how you feel. And I have found that even if I am the one left holding the bag so to speak…I still think the thing to do sometimes is to try to facilitate communication where none exists. I can never think ill of a stepmom trying to help promote harmony by doing that.  In fact I believe when your step kids confide in you what they don’t confide in their parent, they are actually hoping you’ll say something and help.  Maybe not now but later, your Step Daughter is going to remember how you tried…my suggestion with your hubby is at a time that’s less charged…say to him you know…when I married you I accepted my role and I take it seriously…I try not to but in..but if I feel like I can help you all understand each other better because I am a little more objective…don’t you want me to do that? Maybe he’ll look at your role for what it is….it’s hard…and often under appreciated..I think they both sound very lucky to have you in their lives. Good luck and I’d love to hear back from you.  GSM

      Sent from the iPad of Christy Campbell

  4. admin
    Posted May 8, 2014 at 6:49 pm | Permalink

    hi!

  5. Posted June 12, 2014 at 5:48 pm | Permalink

    This is a test. Answer me back

  6. carol
    Posted February 10, 2015 at 11:35 pm | Permalink

    I was wondering. Should a step mom be the sole provider for her stepkids and husbands health insurance? I have resentment because I’ve covered everyone for the past 10 years. I have NO rights as a step mom, yet I”m expected to provide this? How can I explain to my husband that I no longer want the responsibility? I’ve tried talking to him and he gets defensive and thinks I”m selfish. He throws at me…I thought it was “our’ money…

  7. admin
    Posted February 12, 2015 at 3:03 am | Permalink

    Re: insurance. Hi there. I completely get this question. Due to my husband being self employed and the kid’s Mother’s jb situation being somewhat unstable after being the casualty of a mass layoff, I have prrovided the health insurance for my husband and all the kids for a number of years ever since we’ve been married. It amounts to a lot of money. One thing you could do is hunt on the exchanges and see if you could get a higher deductible y et more affordable plan for them….then just carry yourself on your employer’s plan. But…in my situation, I don’t mind providing it as long as I am appreciated for doing so. I mean frankly it is half my paycheck. I know my husband appreciates it…kids don’t really get it yet. The one place where I had to put my foot down was their usage. The kid’s mother unfortunately thinks that lots of things that happen after 5pm and on weekends are ER worthy. That really racks up and when you don’t pay for it I think you don’t feel it. After multiple discussions with the kids about it, and telling my husband he was going to have to talk to her, I finally communicated to her to explain my view and told her that if we couldn’t be smarter consumers of heathcare, I would be forced to drop the kids from my plan. I got no response, but her actions show she heard me. So…if you’re like me you just want to be appreciated for the things you do for them. Not sure what you mean by have no rights as a Step parent….you do…but you’re rights come from your husband’s backing you and letting it be known that you do have rights. Sounds like that might not be happening. If he closed his eyes and imagined half of his “our money” all of a sudden was gone along with you….I wonder if he could learn to appreciate you and what you do for the family more and see that they all do.

  8. admin
    Posted April 19, 2012 at 3:22 pm | Permalink

    Hey I’m so sorry I didn’t get back to you. We moved and I have been off line for a while. It must be time that you have married already or must be close. I think you shouldn’t worry too much at this point. Life with a 2 or 3 year old is a little like living with a crazy person. What they like on Monday they hate on Tuesday….. My best advice I guess is at his age, don’t force the relationship. If you are active in helping see to his needs and taking care of him and showing him some love, I believe he’ll soon start to consider you like a Mama. You’ll do just fine. Please let me hear from you how its going and again I’m so sorry for my delay in writing back to you. I’m on-line more now.
    Christy

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