Our daughters now have full fledged drivers licenses.
No more restrictions, they are good to go. Though we have provided for many if not most of the girls’ needs over these many years, we have yet to purchase them a car. Right now, until we sell our old house, we just can’t swing it. So their Mother has provided wheels. They have to share the car but oh well.
When we started on this journey their Dad took them for their permits and spent time driving with them a little. I hadn’t gone back to work yet so I began to let them take turns driving me around. We never have allowed them to drive when their little brother was in the car. Although we sort of put together from what the girls told us, that the girls’ Mom wasn’t quite as strict about it as we were, we held to their restrictions through all the begging, pouting, whining, slammed doors and attitude.
The girls’ Mother had given them her old car, but at first they got to use their Mom’s car only when it was her days and then had to use mine on days they were with us. I talked to my husband and said look, is this really fair to expect? Their car has to follow their visitation schedule? I mean either we give them a car or we don’t. In my opinion the car was theirs…come on.
Well as it turned out, probably more out of convenience to their Mother than benevolence toward them, she started to let them have the car all the time. Cool.
Now all the practices….busses to catch to go to games….mall….friends’ houses…..to school and back..between our house and their Mothers, it’s all them and we’re really liking that. The other side of the coin though, is that since they have wings, they are almost home more than when they didn’t. We never ever know when they’ll walk in and you can guarantee that not more than a day will go by that at least one of the girls comes home. Maybe they just come by to fetch something…say hi..see their baby brother…eat something,,,,so wheels served to take our son out more but they serve to bring our girls home more often. Interesting.
If you’ll recall our son wrecked three cars before he got out of High School. Our girls hopefully will not repeat that, there has only been a scrape or two; one as the result of a “joy ride” the other backing into something, to which I can cast NO stones!
You know how most of us learned at one time or another not to keep valuables in our cars? Why? Because we probably got ripped off! Well, after a particularly nasty break up with a crazy…their car got broken into. See post about the police officer at the door.
My husband later talked to the girls. Apparently they were of the habit of keeping their wallets in their car. Don’t take me there. Their Mother, it turns out, was the last one in the car and didn’t lock it. The car was broken into in their own driveway. Creepy.
When they came home we talked about what had happened. Theynhad to sit through a lecture about what not to leave in cars…..they are lucky their loss was as minimal as it was. It freaked them out a bit and hopefully they learned as so many of us have…that you don’t keep valuables in the car and you always lock it up!
I haven’t done it yet, but I always told the girls when they were younger that when they got a car, I was going to get in it and leave all my trash, clothes, hair do dads etc in it. I’m just biding my time, but you watch me!
Lessons learned
- Things change once your kids have wheels. Both you and your children get that first taste of independence from each other. For our oldest it meant a lot of time not at home. For our girls so far it’s meant we see them more than we did before they were driving.
- If you’re divorced and decide to provide your kid’s a car, then provide them a car. It’s not realistic or fair to expect them to leave the keys at your place when visitation schedule switches. At the ages they are by this time, it’s just silly.
- Girls are easier on cars than boys, I think.
- You don’t want the police at your door if you have teenagers. My heart leapt into my throat.
- Crazy boyfriends may very well resort to property damage if you cut off their communication…I think blocking numbers is smart…but realize that irritating a crazy carries risk.
- I may never really get into,the girls’ car and make a complete mess of it, but if I did, they would so have it coming!
Good Stepmom
