I have wanted my kids to join me in a community based project for years ever since I started occasionally giving my time to participate in one. I have rung bells at Christmas time, I have served meals and cooked meals at serving kitchens, I have worked a number of habitat for humanity projects and have run coat and food drives. Seems that there was usually something that stood in our way. Mother’s weekend, lower age limits, sports schedules…still I know that it’s important for kids, especially those from this entitlement generation to do,this type,of work. First, it’s work. Second it is giving in exchange for nothing other than the good feeling you get by helping others, third, it shows them that there is a very different way of living then what they are used to. Not all kids by any means have the roller blades, skate boards, bikes, motor scooters, bats, skates, balls, hoops, iPods, iPads, laptops, cell phones, TVS in their rooms, closet full of shoes and clothes and good food on the table and in the pantry, need I go on?
So the oldest gets out of the house without ever doing this with me. Both girls are now working, so I had a very small window from about 16-17 didn’t make it so now,with jobs it’s next to impossible. I volunteer for a Habitat in the town in which I work, for my company and I mention it to the girls. One works all the time when she isn’t in school and cheering. Our other girl, works but fewer hours so she says she’s in. Cool. Last minute they change her soccer schedule so she’s out. Then something happened and she’s in again, even though technically it’s her Mothers weekend.
She shows up plenty early that Sat am….and off we go. We get there and there is a little more than the usual milling around. No one seemed to be really in charge. There was one guy in charge but then he left pretty early on. That is after he told us our to do list and materials were in the kitchen. Okay…
A few of my co-workers were standing around too and a few other people I didn’t know. I introduced my daughter and myself to everyone. We ate a donut and tried to figure out what we could knock off that list and what to do. At one point the homeowners arrived. Nice young couple…overwhelmed by the process and had no opinions on anything. Where do you want your door pulls and drawer pulls on your kitchen cabinets? I don’t know…where do you want your towel racks in the master bath…oh I don’t know. How do you want your address on the house front, up and down, across?; oh I don’t know…. Splendid. Very chaotic, very disorganized compared to all the other Habitats I have worked…so we dove in. We saw a box of door knobs, a nail, a hammer, a screw driver, ok we had to actually hunt around for what we needed and borrow a drill. We assessed the box, there were privacy knobs and regular ones. A couple of my co-workers dove into the door knobs too. We all were smart enough to figure out the two privacy knobs were for the master and the bath, the rest of the doorknobs were throughout the house. We grabbed a privacy knob and headed to the bathroom. I mean we had no one show us ok heres how you install one, now go. It was on us. After some amount of trouble we, ok mainly she, figured it out and we got our first one done…we tested it and it worked, high five moving on. We installed two other simpler ones. We SO had this. Then we helped attach a stair rail to a basement wall. We also worked with a lady I work with and her husband on putting the address on front of the house. We heard a ruckus and someone told us that one of doors we had installed failed to re-open after we closed it. They had to take it off from the hinges and fix it. Oh dear. Then we were chided that yet another door knob we installed same. Ahh. We didn’t check them as we did the first, our error and a good joke on us the remainder of the day. At the end of the day we made nice with the homeowners, wished them well and said our goodbyes. We grabbed lunch out, and I got her home so she could make it back to her Moms in good time. I took a shower, and reflected on the day. This community service day had unexpected benefits. I’m only sorry I couldn’t have gotten all three of my Step kids to work a project with me, I do intend that my little boy will do so regularly.
Lessons learned and what I hope my daughter took away from this…
When new to a situation, jump in…introduce yourself and connect. Others will appreciate that and follow suit.
Sometimes things aren’t lined out for you, you just have to get going and figure things out.
When you cooperate with others things done, if you keep to yourself, it’s more difficult, takes more time and isn’t near as fun.
Another person always has something to contribute that you can learn from, but you have to be open to that and you have to listen.
If you don’t have what you need, go get it. Don’t expect others to come to your aid. Be resourceful.
Sometimes you have to listen and learn from those who know more, even if they are very different than yourself and don’t wear a suit or have professor as a title. You truly don’t know everything.
This was a simple house, but these kid’s were proud of it. There’s something to be said for that.
Helping others feels good.
When you mess up own it, laugh about it if you can and be ok if others do. Learn and move on.
Even though my daughter may think that I portray myself as one who knows all….I don’t. And hopefully she saw me be a good sport about it and laugh at myself when I messed up.
Sometimes StepMama hasn’t got a clue. Hopefully I became a little more human, understandable and likeable in my daughter’s eyes that day. I hope so.
Who knew….
Christy
Good Step Mon
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