We’ve used the same professional photographer since she took our older son’s high school graduation pictures years ago. She does very good work, she charges the moon. Taking my husband’s complaints to heart plus my own sticker shock…once, just once I decided to try to save some money and we took our little one to Target. Bless her heart she was awful and we had a terrible time of it. We got a few shots of him at two years of age but not many. Back to our professional we went.
Last year I decided that I wanted to get a real family photo made that included all of us. My husband, who is an absolute freak when it comes to getting his picture taken finally agreed to do this for me. We timed it such that it was when our oldest would be coming home for the holidays. It was cool, we all dressed in jeans and black shirts, even the baby. We got some pics of all of us, some of just the kids, then a couple of just the older kids. When I went to preview the work, I took one of our girls with me because she wanted to go. It’s so cool what they can do now a days. Our photographer was able to take our favorite image of each of us and compose a photo so that we got the best of everyone. How cool is that?
Anyway, I went through the painstaking process of elimination to whittle down to a half way affordable batch of pictures. Our daughter, in front of our photographer, asked how much a print was. This is where I remember being told by my Dad kids should be seen and not heard. Kids now often don’t understand boundaries. Then she proceeded to ask if she could buy one of the pics of just the three older kids and when could it be ready? She said her Mother’s birthday was in a few weeks and she thought that it would make a great gift if it would be alright with me. Good lord. I could just hear my husband…there’s no stinking way I’m going to pay a small fortune for a photo sitting to have her benefit from it. I said to our daughter, I think it would make a wonderful and thoughtful gift but you guys will have to pay for the print. I mean, what else was I supposed to say? I had been put on the spot and didn’t appreciate it. Our photographer looked at me in empathy and said she could rush up that one print so she could have it in time for their Mom’s birthday. Ok, now home to tell hubby how much I spent and the rest of it.
So I relay all this to him and he just stares at me for a minute and then says to me, let me get this straight. I go and pose for a series of photos when I didn’t want to, pay dearly for the privilege and my ex-wife not only gets a free print, but she gets hers before we do. To which I said well, yes. I told him the kids were paying for her print. It was little consolation for him. I told him that I knew it felt kind of wrong, but truth was she’d never be able to afford to get a photo of the kids like this one and knowing that she had just lost her Father, I knew family was probably taking on a new deeper meaning for her and that she would think it was the best gift the kids could ever give her. He mumbled something, then as he walked away he said we ought to substitute and gift her the photo of all four kids (mine included). Ahem!
The photo came in as promised, on the day of her birthday, I went to pick it up. The girls had a basketball game that night and had to go straight from school to the gym. I searched through all my things at home and found a pretty, unused silver photo frame, put it together and gift wrapped it for them. I held onto it through the game. After the game was over but before changing clothes, our daughter climbed up in the bleachers to me and asked if I had remembered to bring the photo. I handed her the gift wrapped box, she looked at me and smiled and said thanks. Out in the lobby of the auditorium, the girls presented their Mom with her gift. She opened it in front of us all. She took one look at it, got very emotional and hugged the girls thanking them and saying it was the best gift they ever could have given her.
On the way out of the gym, she caught both the eye of me and my husband and whispered thank you. It’s a good memory, I was glad we did it.
Lessons learned
- You get what you pay for and I know that, don’t scrimp on the important stuff.
- Sometimes you have to do the right thing, even if it hurts a little bit.
- It really does feel good to give…..
Good StepMom
